habis kelas dasar-dasar intervensi, diminta menuliskan hal-hal yang ditakuti/tidak disukai. waktu itu diminta menulis 1 aja. tapi sekarang gue bisa ngelist 3 hal yang ternyata paling gue gak suka
1. orang yang tadinya punya skema tertentu di kepala gue, tiba-tiba skemanya berubah karena ada hal yang selama ini gak diakui
2. ketika fisiknya dekat tapi rasanya jauh
3. dibenci oleh orang yang disayang
i understand that you just can't present your best self right now, i hope you can go past through the hurricane inside of you. i wish you don't have to be so hard on yourself
and i pray for myself so i can switch my focus -- when to love, when to hate, and when to forgive and accept, to let go --and i think i have this hero complex, which is so toxic in some ways to myself. i am also not in my most stable self
and i wish you get the right kind of help you need, i'm sorry i can't help you anymore, even if i wanted to. but if you believe that i have this resentment towards you, please belief that i don't. maybe these past 8 months anger just shows it ways to the surface and i don't deny that i also want to hurt you just so you know that i feel hurt by you. and you don't have to feel guilt, blaming yourself because you've hurt me in some ways -- because it has no benefit. if you want to displace your anger and hate me, block me from your life, avoiding me .. you have the right to do it. but i also feel like we need to talk. and honestly, you mean so much to me and even i know that you have the right to avoid me, i don't want you to. i think we've cherished our moments enough but we don't have to be some kind of enemy. yes, even people do change.
i do still believe you're a good person, after all. maybe what's happening is that you're just showing this particular layer that some people don't like
i understand that you just can't present your best self right now, i hope you can go past through the hurricane inside of you. i wish you don't have to be so hard on yourself
and i pray for myself so i can switch my focus -- when to love, when to hate, and when to forgive and accept, to let go --and i think i have this hero complex, which is so toxic in some ways to myself. i am also not in my most stable self
and i wish you get the right kind of help you need, i'm sorry i can't help you anymore, even if i wanted to. but if you believe that i have this resentment towards you, please belief that i don't. maybe these past 8 months anger just shows it ways to the surface and i don't deny that i also want to hurt you just so you know that i feel hurt by you. and you don't have to feel guilt, blaming yourself because you've hurt me in some ways -- because it has no benefit. if you want to displace your anger and hate me, block me from your life, avoiding me .. you have the right to do it. but i also feel like we need to talk. and honestly, you mean so much to me and even i know that you have the right to avoid me, i don't want you to. i think we've cherished our moments enough but we don't have to be some kind of enemy. yes, even people do change.
i do still believe you're a good person, after all. maybe what's happening is that you're just showing this particular layer that some people don't like
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